Every year for the last three years my friend’s son has asked to have his birthday party at my house. It’s always simple, he mainly just wants a bon fire and to roast hot dogs and “smarshmallows.” There were moments of joy as the close group of friends gathered to enjoy an evening together. I couldn’t help but smile as Xavier’s buddy come running to give him his gift… so excited as he pulled three rocks out of his pocket.
I also can’t pretend that there weren’t moments of sadness realizing Enoch will never have a 5 year old birthday party. Those twinges of sadness came in between moments of joy celebrating the life of this little boy. The heart wrenching sadness came a couple days later when I went to visit Enoch’s grave. You see, the little baby next to his grave also had a birthday and there were balloons flying in the wind. Suddenly I realized that’s how I will celebrate Enoch’s 5th birthday. Not only his fifth birthday, but all of his birthdays will look the same. All of them at the gravesite. No party’s, no bon fires, no little kids running up to give them their gifts. Just a visit to the grave with some balloons and a broken heart.