I like Kirsten.
Kirsten and Josh were the first people we talked to years ago about adoption.
She’s who I met with when I found out we were infertile.
She’s was one I needed to tell in person that I was pregnant.
Although so nervous to tell her, as she has struggled with infertility, her joy was unforgettable. Her words still play in my head over and over: “I can’t believe you’re pregnant. Y0u’re going to have a baby.”
Several months after Enoch died, she handed me this small notebook.
I’m assuming she gave it to me because of the words imprinted on the front. Ones I needed more desperately than anyone knew.
A handful of weeks after she gave it to me I began to use it, carrying it with me daily in the back pocket of my jeans. I used it as my journal. More importantly, I used it as a way to communicate with God and and to keep my thoughts about God. Typically in my down time I pull out my phone. I started to wonder what would happen if I pulled out this little notebook instead. What if I wrote down thoughts of God, thoughts of what was happening, and prayers for people? What if instead of writing random thoughts in texts to friends or scrolling mindlessly through Facebook as I waited for whatever was next, I engaged God? I will admit this has had significant impact on my life and my day to day interactions with God. Beyond what I could have imagined.
The book is now full, I’ve already bought the replacement.
Thanks Kirsten for your friendship, support, and this little black book.