One of my latest songs. I especially love the lines of the song, The More I Seek You, .
I want to sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand
lay back against you and breath
feel your heart beat
There’s something comforting about the idea of physically sitting with God and resting in him.
At the 8 minute mark of this version they sing this line over and over, “all I want is just to know your heart and would you keep me here until we’re one.” So often I that’s exactly what I want to do, just stay in that space with God to grow close and closer.
Mother’s day is tricky. It’s tricky for me, as the loss of Enoch continues to be at the forefront of my mind. All week I have been wearing my “E” necklace with his birth stone my friends gave to me when he was born. I have been wearing it as a reminder that I am Enoch’s mom. That meeting him, holding & cuddling his little body really was such a gift! I still deeply long to continue to do so, but for now am so very grateful for those 11 hours with him (and the 40 weeks leading up).
This is how I spent the brunt of that night… holding his little body close to mine.
On this day I am equally so very grateful for the opportunities God has given me to mom others in my life! God has allowed me to mother in little ways where I get to love, care and nurture those around me. It’s those moments when making “family dinner” for those who live with us and function as our family, when Andrew comes over and asks if I’ll make him Lasagna, or when I take Alicia all the supplies she needs when she’s sick and needs cared for. Over the years I’ve had the opportunity in greater ways such as when Joe and Brea each lived with us. Tim & I functioned as “mom and dad” while they were in our home and they have been a huge parts of our lives ever since. And fairly regularly I get to mom the teenagers who walk through the doors of First Glance. Some call me mom and others don’t, but I get to give them all a hug and drill them about the boy they have been dating.
I often think about a conversation with my own mom years ago when she said, “Everyone just wants their mom.” I know that to be true. I know that as I have had the opportunity to love and mom others, I understand I cannot replace their mom and don’t pretend I can. And they don’t want me to. I simply am so very grateful for a God who redeems and allows for some of these relationships in my life. It really is such a gift!!! As I reflect on this day, it continues to challenge me to use my desire to nurture and mom those who do desire a little momming.
Mother’s day is tricky… for those who have lost a child and others who have lost or have a broken relationship with their mom. There’s not many “happily ever afters” when it comes to this day, not many that I know of anyhow. But today I’m choosing to embrace the joy of the day: grateful for my own mom, grateful for the people God has allowed me to mom over the years, and so very thankful for those moments with my little baby boy.
Host a women’s conference. I’m confident I heard that wrong. I had to have. I didn’t. In this blog post I talk about how I was obedient, despite me not understanding exactly what I was being obedient to. I simply took one step at a time, and this past Saturday I had the opportunity to see God at work. For months leading up I prayed this prayer over and over again, the morning of was NO different!
By the end of the night I wrote several women and said, “God answered my prayer. He showed up, and He got all the Glory.” I don’t know why I am always so surprised when God prompts me to do something, shows up, and does more than I could have asked or imagined!
My heart is still so full! There are no way in words I can adequately express to you what happened on that day. It was a powerful time of 300 women gathering and sharing stories about a God who interacts and redeems and who we get to live on mission with! At the end of the day it was ALL about Him!
This was the opening video to the day along with some pictures of the day.
Our panel discussion
Kara who I was with when this idea came
Sharing along side Becky Moreland
Over 300 women came!